I am finally realizing that what my boyfriend has been saying to me these past few weeks is true. I don’t expect much from my friends.. Just that when I am there for them they are here for me. And lately it’s hit me that it’s about 80/20 (80 being me) putting forth effort in a friendship. I try to be there for them, bring them what they want or need, support them, listen to them cry and complain, I just try to be a friend. I’m a good fucking friend, too, might I add. Dillon says I expect too much out of someone. Not that I expect them to go above and beyond, but that I expect for them to treat me as equally as I treat them, and up until today it really hasn’t been that way.. at all. It’s sad. It hurts me, but I’m a strong person and I know I’m bigger than slumping around being sad because everytime they want to hangout i’m there in a heart beat, and when I want to, it’s maybe 60/40 that they have ‘stuff going on’ or are busy. I understand people have lives, but what I don’t understand is how come I can be so good to someone and they obviously just don’t realize it, or appreciate it. Maybe they do, but they don’t have a good way of showing it.
Well, I’m tired of being walked on. I’m not going to be talked down to, you aren’t going to use me as your door mat, and until you start showing me that you can be there, then when you call - expect to be ignored. I’m too strong to be drug around like a play toy to a toddler, and tossed to the side when there is something else more exciting to play with. Shit hurts, but this is me just saying I’m done. I’m done.
